Simple: I need to! Why, of all places, the WEB to share my story, experiences, journey of renewal, fears, and questions? Simple: Maybe I will get lucky, and maybe one person will see my story or words, and it will make their day a little better or bring them a smile. I may find some answers. I am not an expert or theologian, but I can share my experience and my love for God and others.
In December 2023, a fifteen-plus-year struggle finally came to a head and boiled over. I landed in jail, and the details and the rest are for an in-person conversation, which may be later here. The fact is, this was the first time I had ever been in this kind of trouble, and I realized I was sick. I needed help, and God was the only one I knew could help me.
(Angel # 9 created as a composite of cloud images around 2015 )
I grew up in what I would call Southern Methodist and Southern Baptist traditions. Still, I had turned my back on God years ago, even having been baptized and having given myself over to Jesus earlier in life (this will be important in time). That fateful night in December 2023, as I played there sobering up, I felt nothing, but when I woke up the next morning, I felt everything, and to say it was overwhelming is an understatement. I had spent much of the night staring at the ceiling, seeing damaged paint, etc., but that morning, I was overwhelmed. I closed my eyes and prayed. I simply said God, I need you. I need you to show me how to get better. I don't want you to get me out of this or "save" me. Just show me you are here and show me the way to being the man I am supposed to be. When I opened my eyes, I saw a perfect cross in the ceiling-damaged paint I had not seen all night. I sat up and heard the words TIME TO GET TO WORK! And I felt his embrace. Now, to this day, I do not know if I heard the CO telling others and the inmates working it was time to get to work or if I just heard it in my heart and head, but it doesn't matter. I knew who sent those words for me to hear.
So, nearly six months later, after multiple court dates and more still pending, after nearly six months sober and as a man renewed in his faith, I am starting this little venture because this is where God has led my heart right now. I have no idea what my future holds, but whatever it is, well, it will be God's will, and I need to follow where he wants me.
If this connected with you in any way, please feel free to reach out to me if you are struggling, scared, Depressed, Suicidal, or anything. There is help out there. Walk into any Church. Call 988 if you want help. It can be found. But you have to get up and get to work!
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